She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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