so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
pop tarts are not kleenex
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
