I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
