sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
