you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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