You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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