the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
