I'm jealous of your bromance
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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