Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Is it because I queefed?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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