you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Randomize
