ya dads aren't the best wingmen
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
