Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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