you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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