I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
