god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
