I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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