this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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