About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
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I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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