The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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