you turned your livingroom into a bong?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
