I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
