If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize