The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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