remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize