He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
