My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Randomize
