So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
