My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
