I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
