if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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