What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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