YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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