I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
