So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
