I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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