dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
