Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
