R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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