He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
