you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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