did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
