White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
