Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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