im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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