I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You dont lie about slip and slides
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
