So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize