Kiss
Puke
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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