so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
