i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
