my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
