Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
