Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Success! We fucked roommates!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
