The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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