Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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