here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
