bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
