This is not my ceiling
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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