I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
