Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
two words...techno handjob
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
