I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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