Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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