well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
