So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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