Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
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