Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
