How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
