Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
