I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
