Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
