Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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